VACATION

Thought for the day - Regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there better be something else to take its place.

Kay and I are off to Tucker Pond in Warner, New Hampshire for two weeks. By then we'll know who the running mates for Obama and McCain will be and more serious consideration can be given to the final decision on who will receive my vote. It will be an interesting time as the conventions heat up.

Have you noticed how quickly they hushed up about John Edwards?

I wonder what you all have thought about the Olympics...I doubt we'll have TV reception where we'll be. I hope the closing ceremonies will include the little girl who sang but wasn't allowed to appear at the opening.

Be good to yourselves. From this same-sex couple.

GOOD MORNING

Thought for the day - Wherever you go, there you are!

Kay and I are starting to pack and have started the multi-lists for our two week vacation to Tucker Pond in Warner New Hampshire. We even go so far as to make out shopping lists for the stores in Warner - we have the exact same stores here in Concord - but somehow vacation shopping takes on a whole new meaning.

What is it that's so comforting about list-making? I make lists about things to do at home while I'm out in the car. When I'm home, I make lists of what I need to do as soon as I get back in the car. While I'm making a list about groceries, I'll suddenly think about something I want to tell the vet when Rosey goes for his next check up.

Now we've gotten involved in running the "letter to the editors" campaign for a neighbor who is on the primary ballot for state representative for our district. As a result of that, mega, mega lists had to be made of the dates letters should be sent, who is assigned to which week, etc. As if that isn't complicated enough, a friend is running for County Commissioner and I took on the job of spearheading her letter-writing campaign. More lists to juggle.

I have a big birthday coming this January - so those lists have been put in a folder where they're accessible for additions and/or corrections.

If my son comes up for Thanksgiving with his partner huge lists will be generated about foods to fix that Josh likes, places to go so his partner, Kent, a Florida native, can see the best of New Hampshire.

And so it goes. I'm already starting to salivate about Christmas lists.

Hope your day goes well. Best wishes from this same-sex couple.

WHO KNEW?

Thought for the day - You either control your attitude or it controls you.

Who knew? The manicurist for one of our 85-year old friends would be arrested for kidnapping and rape!! Our friend had just been extolling the virtues of this fellow, the fact that he was an alien and spoke with an accent but more importantly all the fascinating details of the manicure he gives down to the massaging of each hand - including the palm and each and every finger. We all know what a massage of the palm means, right? Perhaps our friend would say he was sending her a message in the massage. I say she escaped with the skin of her cuticles barely in tact.

Who knew? My son had his 44th birthday yesterday. He owns a swanky salon in Miami Beach that offers everything a client could possibly dream about including manicures and pedicures. His birthday gift to himself was a pedicure.....which would feature a complete foot bath, callous removal, nail treatment and of course, a massage. No message in this massage:the pedicurist is a woman and he's Gay.

Today we are going for haircuts........no hand or foot treatment involved.

Have a good day! This from the same-sex couple - Mary Lou and Kay

AM I CRAZY?

Thought for the day - you can keep going long after you can't!

Here I go again - flogging what should be a dead horse. John Edwards. I just got through saying I was finished blogging about him but in our local paper this morning the editor had a piece entitled, In living a lie, Edwardses gambled with their party's future. This points a finger at Elizabeth who obviously knew about her husband's affair before he announced his candidacy. Here in Concord, NH the couple spoke in 2007. Our editor posed the question - "did Elizabeth know then that her husband didn't stand a chance?" On the opposite side of the coin, I ask, what was she thinking? If by some fluke he had won, at this point in the campaign process, he would be laughed out of town and the party would be doomed. Elizabeth was the soul of her husband's campaign - too bad she aided and abetted his deception and fraudulent behavior. P.S. I still admire and like her and feel sorry that she got drawn into the situation. Cancer is enough to deal with.

What's wrong with this picture? Millions of people all around the world watched the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Beijing, China. When of all dreadful and tasteless mistakes, the Chinese Olympic Committee decided the little girl with the truly lovely voice is not beautiful enough physically to appear in person to sing her song; so they teach another little girl - who admittedly was very pretty - to lip-synch the song and appear in public. What were they thinking - that the world would judge China because they might have a precious child with a glorious voice whose appearance would not be good enough to be displayed on camera? What will this do to that child? I sincerely hope she grows up to be a stunning opera diva and learns to proudly strut herself and her voice everywhere.

Today we had our dear Yorkie, Rosey, groomed and bathed. It's warm here and Rosey is so tired and hot he can barely lift his head to see what we're having for our tea break.

All of this from your favorite same-sex couple in their alternate lifestyle.

WAS IT LORENA BOBBITT?

Greetings from this same-sex couple living our chosen alternative lifestyle!

Thought for the day - "I believe that my partner and I can do anything or nothing and still have the best time".

In my blog post yesterday I was trying to remember the name Lorena Bobbitt who "gave her husband's penis forty whacks". Somehow the bastard managed to get it sewn back on - but I bet it never worked the same. What a relief for the women of America to get him out of circulation.

Now we have John Edwards - and I promise this will be the last article on the subject because he doesn't deserve thinking about, much less writing about. On our local New Hampshire news last evening we learned that both John and Elizabeth have been booked to appear at nearby Salem State College - the program is now sold out!! The title for the event is, "A Conversation with John and Elizabeth Edwards". I'd put money on Elizabeth's half of the conversation which I'm sure will take the high road and ignore the current issue of John's philandering. It's a golden opportunity for her to shine as she's never shown before. I just hope she doesn't make the mistake of saying, "I gave John permission to do this because, after all, I probably won't be around too much longer".

Kay and I will go visit Tad Mosel later today and hope he'll be comfortable and smiling as he almost always is. There are days when he really doesn't have anything to say but his smile is so endearing, Kay and I just sit and talk between ourselves.

The program we did yesterday in Amherst, NH was a big success - the audience laughed in all the right places and we sold a few books. What could be better?

We're planning a get-away over New Year's and will probably return to Ogunquit, Maine. Last year we had one blizzard after another but it was still lots of fun.

Have a good day!!

A WOMAN'S SACRIFICE

Thoughts from this same-sex couple living in an alternate lifestyle.

Anyone that knows my marital background will readily understand my outrage at John Edwards. Never have I been more inclined to scream to the rooftops about men leading with their egos, considering only themselves and their needs while at the same time stomping on their wives.

Only in this case Edwards has compounded his indiscretion by cheating on a wife whose future is clouded by the threat of terminal cancer. What more should a woman have to endure from a husband who has flaunted his smile, his charisma and his phony support for several years while standing in front of cameras with his arm around her - fawning over the voting prospects he hoped to snare.

Just suppose he'd won the Democratic nomination as this truth was revealed. I'm convinced the "love baby" is his and what a strange picture it would conjure up to have all this exposed just as we were all going to the polls. What then?

Meanwhile, Elizabeth Edwards, acknowledged as a forceful spokeswoman for the Democratic cause, has had to be shushed just to keep the Edwards' name out of the media. What's that all about. If I were Elizabeth I'd go back to my maiden name and keep on speaking. I wish I could remember the name of the woman who chopped off her husband's penis but Mrs. Edwards needs to hear from her pronto.

On another topic, I know I've been remiss in blog postings. My excuse is our distraction with the impending (going on 8 weeks) demise of our dear friend, Tad Mosel. He was given 3 - 10 days to live in early July and has been in Hospice House all this time. Although eating is a big problem for him, he manages to take in just enough to keep going. If there were Pulitzer Prizes for an example of dying, he'd have won another to go with the one he won for "All the Way Home".

Kay and I were away for the weekend. An 85th birthday party was held for a dear friend at the Hanover Inn in Hanover, New Hampshire. Kay was born and raised in Hanover, her dad taught at Dartmouth and her mother was a devoted volunteer at the old Mary Hitchcock Hospital. So we had a great time all around - loaded with nostalgia.

This morning we go to Amherst, NH to do a program based on my book, "A Horse in the Ladies' Room". The story of the 10 years my second husband and I owned and operated the Fitzwilliam Inn in Fitzwilliam, NH.

I promise to be a more faithful blogger from now on.

VOTING ADVICE FROM ABE LINCOLN

Greetings from this same-sex couple!

Here's some election advice from Abe Lincoln that's worthwhile thinking about as our November election approaches.

You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich

You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. (Where have we heard this before!!)

You cannot life the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.

You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred (or color or religion)

You cannot build character and courage by taking away men's initiative and independence.

You cannot permanently help men by doing for them, when they could and should do it for themselves.


Kay and I say you cannot stay home on election day - study the character of both candidates - learn what they stand for - examine their goals and how they plan to chart the future for the United States.

IRON-JAWED ANGELS

Greetings from this Same-Sex Couple!!

A friend forwarded this, and I thought you also
might find it eye-opening. The message was
inspired by an HBO film that's on this month--
Iron Jawed Angels, with Hilary Swank playing Alice
Paul.

It is the story of our Grandmothers and
our Great-grandmothers, as they lived only 90
years ago. It was not until 1920 that women in the
U.S. were granted the right to go to the polls and
vote.

Thus unfolded the "Night of Terror" on November
15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan
Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach
a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there
because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson's
White House for the right to vote. The women were
innocent and defenseless. An d by the end of the
night, they were barely alive. Forty prison guards
wielding clubs and their warden's blessing went on
a rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted
of "obstructing sidewalk traffic."

They beat Lucy Burn, chained her hands to the cell
bars above her head and left her hanging for the
night, bleeding and gasping for air. They hurled
Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head
against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her
cellmate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and
suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits
describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating,
choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking
the women.

For weeks, the women's only water came from an
open pail. Their food -- all of it colorless slop
-- was infested with worms. When one of the
leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike,
they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her
throat and poured liquid into her until she
vomited. She was tortured like this for w eeks
until word was smuggled out to the press.�

So, refresh my memory. Some women won't vote this
year because -- why, exactly? We have carpool
duties? We have to get to work? Our vote doesn't
matter? It's raining?

Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening
of HBO's new movie 'Iron Jawed Angels.' It is a
graphic depiction of the battle these women waged
so that I could pull the curtain at the polling
booth and have my say. I am ashamed to say I
needed the reminder.

All these years later, voter registration is still
my passion. But the actual act of voting had
become less personal for me, more rote. Frankly,
voting often felt more like an obligation than a
privilege. Sometimes it was inconvenient.

My friend Wendy, who is my age and studied Women's
History, saw the HBO movie, too. When she stopped
by my desk to talk about it, she looked angry. She
was -- with herself. "One thought kept coming back
to me as I watched that movie," she said. "What
would those women think of the way I use -- or
don't use -- my right to vote? All of us take it
for granted now, not just younger women, but those
of us who did seek to learn." The right to vote,
she said, had become valuable to her 'all over
again.'

HBO released the movie on video and DVD. I wish
all history, social studies and government
teachers would include the movie in their
curriculum. I want it shown on Bunco night, too,
and anywhere else women gather. I realize this
isn't our usual idea of socializing, but we are
not voting in the numbers that we should be, and I
think a little shock therapy is in order.

It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his
cronies try to persuade a psychiatrist to declare
Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently
institutionalized. And it is inspiring to watch
the doctor refuse. Alice Paul was strong, he said,
and brave. That didn't make her crazy.

The doctor admonished the men : "Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity."

Please, if you are so inclined, pass this on to all the women you know. We need to get out and vote and use this right that was fought so hard for by these very courageous women. Whether you
vote Democratic or Republican -- remember to vote.
History is being made.

EQUALITY OBAMA STYLE

Greetings from this Same-Sex Couple!!

Received my copy of the HRC Summer News and wanted to share a quote that I felt was particularly meaningful to the GLBT Community.

"I will never compromise on my commitment to equal rights for all GLBT Americans. But neither will I close my ears to the voices of those who still need to be convinced. That is the work we must do to move forward together. It is difficult. It is challenging. And it is necessary". Taken from an Obama letter in 2007.

Although the above is music to my ears, I must guard against permitting this issue to overshadow all the other vital issues that face Obama as his campaign begins the homeward stretch....only three months to go to the election.

The recent tour to meet the heads of countries abroad was very meaningful as the news broadcasts tracked Obama's enthusiastic welcomes. But what about the war? Is it right to bring the troops home when the job isn't complete?

Who will be the choice for vice president? Not Hillary most people are saying....and for such a bright and capable woman this must be a terrible thing to face.

Send in your comments - share your views - let us know what you're thinking.

THE HUMOR OF A DYING MAN

Does the name "Tad Mosel" ring a bell with anyone out there? If not, Google that name and read with interest, respect and awe what you find there.

Tad was our friend and neighbor in the retirement community where we live in Concord, New Hampshire. He moved here with his same-sex partner, Ray, in 1990. Ray died five years later of cancer and Tad tended to him at home as long as he could.

We were in awe of Tad at first because of his magnificent pedigree but once it was discovered we were all Gay, we had fun visiting back and forth with him - enjoying his humor and intelligence that sparkled with everything he said.

A slight stroke two years ago prompted Tad to move to the assisted living lodge within our community and we visited him there up until this past June when he was diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus. He's in the VNA Hospice House here in Concord now and grows weaker with each day that passes.

When he made this, his last move, he took his humor and sparkle right along with him. He revels in the humor of his frequent vomiting and retching, shouts "Eureka!" if he successfully swallows a sip of milk shake or bite of muffin and delights in the success of a catheter.

Tad won a Pulitzer Prize for his play, "All the Way Home". He needs another prize for the example he's setting for all of us now. Please Google "Tad Mozel" and say a prayer for his peaceful entrance into the alternative lifestyles offered in Heaven.

SIX MONTHS AND GROWING

Tuesday, July 1, 2008 is the six-month anniversary of Civil Unions in New Hampshire. Since then over 400 same-sex couples have had the ceremony which is an indication of how important this new law turned out to be.

A reporter from the Concord Monitor came to the house this past week to interview us. Kay and I had a Civil Union back in February and the reporter's questions were all about any ways the CU might have changed our lives. First of all, we expressed the almost immediate feeling of validation as a same-sex couple, in some subliminal fashion we found ourselves holding our heads up higher, sensing a more equal status with the rest of our community and experiencing the freedom to hug each other if we had a sudden emotional high.

These were important steps forward for us at our ages even though we've been together for 28 years. It's such a revolutionary time for folks from our generation who spent so many years playing a role and keeping a foot in two worlds - Gay and Straight.

From a legal standpoint, the CU has not had an impact so far although we carry small laminated copies of our CU certificates in our wallets just in case we're challenged anywhere.

We've done everything we can to be recognized as a couple. We had a Union Blessing Ceremony in 2006 in the sanctuary of our church and now the Civil Union. We hope and pray at some point down the road we'll be entitled to Federal benefits such as inheriting the Social Security benefits of a deceased partner. But for now, we feel extremely blessed.

IS THERE A GAY BRAIN?

This is today's question picked up from the Washington Post by our local newspaper, The (New Hampshire) Concord Monitor. The findings were based on MRI studies that compared the brains of 25 straight men and 25 straight women with those of 20 gay men and 20 gay women. The findings - fasten your seat belts - gay men tended to have brains more like those of straight women than straight men. Gay women's brains tended to be more like those of straight men. Whoopee!!

I'm very distressed because there are a ton of macho, overbearing and despicable straight men whose brains I'd do anything to avoid, let alone being held up as a match for my brain.

In some research circles, the findings are viewed as an explanation for why gay men respond to emotional stimuli as a straight woman would and gay women's emotional responses are more like those of a straight man. It also shows why gay men have verbal and other cognitive skills that tend to be more like women's.

This confirms why like attracts like and why same-sex partners get along so much better than heterosexual couples - they're not always playing mind games, vying for power in the relationship and are sympathetic to one another's feelings. These are my findings after been in a gay relationship with Kay for almost 30 years and having had two failed opposite-sex marriages. Amen.

UNFAIR POLITICS

I'm really not a political buff but I was interested to read in the latest Lesbian Connection (more familiarly known as LC or Elsie), that the same-sex partner of Lesbian Tammy Baldwin, Representative from Wisconsin, was not allowed to travel with her on a congressional delegation to France because House rules do not recognize domestic partners as spouses. The first really great thing I've read about Nancy Pelosi is that she submitted a written request to the secretary of defense to waive the rule. It worked!!

The other political boo-boo has nothing to do with GLBT affairs but lots to do with racial slurs. This time it's about a creator of campaign buttons in Texas whose latest button creation says, "If Obama wins will it still be called the White House?" What a tragedy to cast such aspersions on an individual! The Republican Party is being blamed naturally but who cares it's the mean-spiritedness of the question that rankles. Sounds like Texas still living in the "dark" ages?

This Blog would not be complete without mentioning the tribute to Tim Russert that took place yesterday. I couldn't take my eyes off the TV screen as the eulogies rolled on and on. I loved to watch Russert whenever he took on the task of unraveling a political scenario. He was always right on and spoke plainly so even the politically naive, like me, could understand.

CALIFORNIA BLOOMING

Monday, June 16, 2008 at 5 p.m., California made history in legalizing marriage for same-sex couples in that state.

The traditional marriage license was changed to read Party A and Party B in place of "Bride" and "Groom". Here in New Hampshire we were referred to as Person A and Person B which to me is a lot more realistic designation. I would have preferred "Wife A" and "Wife B" but I wasn't invited to offer an opinion. Anyway I was so happy to have the ceremony at our ages and in our lifetimes it didn't matter.

Parties A and B in California who were the first to tie the knot are women Kay and I met a long time ago at a Lesbian Celebration in Provincetown, MA called Golden Threads. Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, both in their late 80's, have been together 55 years. God Bless them!! The 28 years Kay and I have been together dwindles in comparison.

A word to all couples who have either a marriage or civil union certificate and who might ever be questioned by any authority as to their right to visit in ICU, request medical records for their spouse, make any decisions that might be challenged legally do what we did - have a photocopy made of your certificate, reduce it to wallet size, laminate it and carry it in your wallets at all times. A friend in MA needed to pick up her wife's x-rays and deliver them to a hospital in which her spouse was confined. She was denied access to the x-rays and had to return home and get their license and take it back for proof she was within her legal rights to obtain the x-rays.

My wish for all same-sex California couples is recognize what you have, feel larger than life as you walk with your heads held higher than ever......I salute you and raise a toast to happiness in your new found legal status.

And now let's get those Federal rights that would entitle us to over 1,000 benefits not offered by the individual states.

LESBIANS OVER 60 GATHER IN CALIFORNIA

Here's something for all women whether part of a same-sex couple and/or single women living an alternative lifestyle - just so you're over 60!!!

California Dreaming: Building a Better World for Old Lesbians will take place July 30 - August 3, 2008 at the Hacienda Hotel near the Los Angeles Airport.

This four-day gathering, hosted by OLOC (Old Lesbians Organizing for Change) will bring together Lesbians from across the country to learn, be entertained and be with women like themselves.

Entertainment will include singer and raconteur, Alix Dobkin, comedian and activist, Robin Tyler, as well as the Los Angeles Women's Community Chorus plus the OLOC Chorus.

REGISTRATION INFO or FOR MORE INFORMATION - www.oloc.org, Email: info@oloc.org, Call toll free: 888-706-7506, Write: OLOC, PO Box 5853, Athens, Ohio, 45701. Registration before July 10: $225. (Some scholarships available)

Enjoy!!

NEW YORK TIMES HEALTH ARTICLE JUNE 10, 2008

A Gay friend forwarded this article to me in which studies show that same-sex couples have a great deal to teach everyone else about marriage and relationships. Committed Gay couples and committed straight couples show surprising differences!! (We already knew that, didn't we?) But the differences that do emerge have shed light on the kinds of conflicts that can endanger heterosexual relationships.

University of Vermont Professor said, "How people care for each other, how they share responsibility, power and authority are the key issues in relationships." (We're certainly head and shoulders above straight couples at all of the preceding)

The stereotype for same-sex relationships is that they do not last, but that may be due to the lack of legal and social recognition given to same-sex couples. (Hear, Hear!!)

I was already holding my head high about my gay relationship with Kay and didn't need this article to convince me that the 28-year relationship we've had hasn't been over 100% better than either of the heterosexual marriages I was in and it all comes down to what the UVM professor had to say.

WE'RE HAVING A HEAT WAVE

We're in our fourth day of heat in the 90's. But there are no complaints coming from this Blogger. The news from around the world is so devastating - and here in our country as well with storms, earthquakes, earthquakes, war, starvation, etc. that I feel grateful to be here in the heat.

Also, we are now moving forward into a real presidential campaign and I listened to McCain this morning extolling the virtues of Hillary Clinton and got to thinking what a ticket they would make because it seems a foregone conclusion that Obama won't have her on the ticket for fear of Bill setting up his own White House across the street on Pennsylvania Avenue.

The price of gasoline is climbing - in some places here in New England it's over $4/gallon. Kay and I are former campers and drove a RoadTrek down and back to Florida every year. We loved camping and I'm sure there are hundreds of RV owners who have had to cancel their trips this summer and what a shame because it's a really lovely and exciting way to see the USA on your own terms. It's also a nice way to travel if you take a pet and we always take Rosey wherever we go.

This year we're renting a cottage in nearby Warner, NH for two weeks in August. It's about a half hour from where we live here in Concord and yet it's like stepping into another world because of being right on the water. Plus the owners are very accepting of our Sisters by Heart gay relationship and our little Yorkie.

FOR A GAY FRIEND

Paul Weber moved to Fitzwilliam, New Hampshire from Manhattan in 1980. He had worked on the floor of the stock exchange and the pressures of the job had forced him to leave and find less stressful employment. His partner, Jim, was still working but they chose to retire to Fitzwilliam, came up and purchased a lovely old house in the center of town. Paul stayed and Jim returned to New York for another year or two and then he also retired and moved to New Hampshire.

Kay and I met Paul and Jim at a town yard sale and we became friends for life. Jim illustrated all of my books and did an especially fine job on "Sisters by Heart" - my book about our gay relationship. We saw a lot of the two guys - having dinner at one another's house throughout every year.

In 1997 Jim developed late-in-life adult leukemia....he doctored for a couple of years but finally gave up on blood transfusions, went into the hospital and quietly bled to death. Kay and I were named executors of his estate but he everything in such good order, there was very little to do except keep Paul's head above water.

Paul had never balanced a check book, paid any bills or handled investments. Jim, who was over 20 years older, had taken care of him 100%. Paul was working the night shift as a housekeeper at Franklin Pierce College in Rindge, NH and allowed Jim to dote on him.

Consequently, Paul was a ship lost at sea until he found a new partner, Clay, about five years ago. By that time, Paul had gotten a good understanding of finances and took to it all very successfully. He purchased a summer home on a lake and was in the midst of having it renovated when he was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer - which had spread to his liver. This was all six months ago and he now is in the same hospital where Jim died, has refused any further treatment except morphine and will quietly pass away in a short time.

My heart bleeds for this man who finally had so much to live for and will never be able to do it. Did I say he had also adopted an elderly dog who will now live out his years with Clay.....

It's things like this that make you think about your own life and are we ever prepared to move into the next one? A same-sex partner is a precious thing because one faces so many road blocks that draw you closer to your partner for different reasons than heterosexual couples.

Please visit "Sisters by Heart" and see Jim's artistic work that helped make the book such a treasure. And "Good night, Paul. I love you."

THE CANDIDATES SPEAK OUT

In the Spring 2008 issue of Equality, a publication of the Human Rights Campaign, both Clinton and Obama were interviewed on a number of issues I was very interested in reading about. My primary concern is the over 1,000 Federal Benefits to which same-sex couples are not entitled.

When asked about her support of full benefits for Gay couples, Clinton responded - "I believe Civil Unions are the way to achieve this goal. I will fight for equality of Federal benefits for same-sex couples in committed, stable relationships including the Social Security survivors' benefits."

Obama's answer to the same question was, "We must give committed same-sex couples equal rights under Federal law. If half of the Fortune 500 companies have figured out how to treat Gay couples equally, the Federal government can too."

So there you have it - either candidate plans to at least give lip-service to our cause but according to today's news, it will be Obama we'll be watching to see if he follows through. Of course it's a states' rights issue really so where can we go but at least vote for Obama which will create a block of Gay votes to give him the ammunition to fight for us.

VICTIMS OF SILENCE

An article in our Concord, New Hampshire Monitor tells about the opening of a new memorial in Berlin, Germany to honor homosexuals persecuted by the Nazis. This was amazing reading for me as the article reported the words said by Berlin's Mayor, Klaus Wowereit, that 50,000 homosexuals were convicted as criminals with 10,000 to 15,000 deported to concentration camps, where few survived.

Few gays convicted by the Nazis came forward after the war because of the stigma still attached to their sexual orientation which is symptomatic of the postwar society that allowed these victims to be persecuted twice simply by their acts of omission and understanding.

The most astounding fact I culled from the article is the Mayor of Berlin is a Gay man!!! How marvelous that what went around twice for this segment of the German citizenry has come around in such a magnificently positive way. What would Hitler think??

When I had finished reading the article I thanked our patron saints of domestic partnerships and gay relationships for the peaceful and unthreatening manner in which Kay and I are allowed to live out our lives.

GOOD FOR THE CHICKEN

In a recent tongue-in-cheek survey entitled, "Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road", this hilarious explanation was attributed to Jerry Falwell.

Because the chicken was Gay, of course! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it 'the other side'. Yes, my friends - that chicken is Gay and if you eat that chicken, you'll become Gay too! That chicken should not be crossing the road, it's as simple as that!

You know what? There are all sorts of nursery rhymes and adages that can be turned inside out and interpreted to suit any and all beliefs and prejudices. Although Jerry Falwell never actually spoke about this chicken or any other, these are sad commentaries about our alternative lifestyle of choice.

Stay tuned...my next Blog will be about Hillary and Barack and their stand on GLBT issues.

GOLDEN THREADS

Golden Threads is an organization founded twenty years - or more - ago by a Lesbian woman in her 80's who had been shunned by women's social organizations because of her sexual preference. Golden Threads is for Lesbian women aged 50 and older. There is a quarterly publication that will link Lesbians with one another and report any events that might be of interest.

Kay and I used to attend their annual celebration held in Provincetown, Massachusetts. These were wonderful gatherings of Lesbians from all over the country who could meet for three days and just feel free to be themselves...and enjoy good food, parties, dancing and entertainment. There were also workshops of all sorts, purveyor displays and this was where we displayed our book, "Sisters by Heart", and presented a program based on our story.

At the close of the weekend a terrific ceremony was held to wish us on our way and to cement the ties that had bound us together for that brief period. One year I wrote the following that I called "Draw the Circle Wide"....this is part of it:

We give thanks for the chance to exchange thoughts and ideas with one another. We resolve to keep ourselves healthy in mind and body so that we can return another year to once again join hands and hearts in celebration of our Lesbian lives. As we depart from this special gathering let us take with us the spiritual gifts we have received and draw strength from the GOLDEN THREADS that bind us together.

This is my message this morning - for women in a same-sex partnership or Lesbians still in the closet looking for a way out into the sunshine of living an alternative lifestyle, contact me for more information for a way to subscribe to the Golden Threads Newsletter. Email me at uniqueyankee@ comcast.net.

TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Two years ago today, Kay and I had a Blessing Ceremony in our Congregational Church in Rochester, New Hampshire - our was only the second union service for a same-sex couple in our church.

One of the things that made the day so remarkable was out of 149 United Church of Christ churches in our state, there are only 19 in which we could have had such a service in the church sanctuary. You see, those 19 churches are Open and Affirming which means the congregation voted unanimously to permit Gay/Lesbian couples to have a Blessing Ceremony in the church, also it opened the door to the hiring of a Gay or Lesbian pastor, Sunday School teacher or the opportunity to serve on any board or committee.

Why, you're probably thinking, wouldn't any church permit this - Open and Affirming or not? I guess the only clear cut answer is, fear of the unknown. Who are these Gay & Lesbians? Do you know what they do in their bedrooms? They're all Pedophiles you know, and the very worst comment Kay and I were subjected to, "we don't want any of those dirty people coming into our church". Also, "we don't want to be known as the 'Gay Church' in town".

Kay and I worked for almost 10 years with the New Hampshire Conference, UCC, Open & Affirming Committee traveling to churches in the Conference that were interested in learning more about what it means to be Open and Affirming and telling our story and explaining the O&A concept. Of the 19 churches in the conference who went through the process successfully, we were responsible for bringing seven of them to a positive vote.

And now, today is our day to remember the warmth and love that poured over our Gay relationship two years ago in the sanctuary of our church as we received God's blessing on our union from the pastor of the church.

LESBIANS' PHILOSOPHY OF AGING

Recently someone said to us, "You have the philosophy of a much younger age - you're hooked into everything new and different". It's true. Kay and I are au courant with our thinking and our interests in trying new things. We feel it's keeping us young.

Many people approach old age gingerly calling it everything but what it actually is - anything to avoid using the "o" word. But, old wine and old furniture is much more valuable the older it gets because they're more highly prized. Kay and I appreciate each other more and more every day.

In our case, happiness is having lived so long and having the chance to try all the new ideas and processes that are available to us in return for the longer time it takes us to learn. We Blog, Blog Blast and Feed Burn with the best of them and it keeps us in touch with all of you "out there".

Are there any older Lesbian couples checking our Blog regularly? If so, please email us at uniqueyankee@comcast.net. We're waiting to hear from you and get your thoughts and ideas on being older partners in life or living alternative lifestyles.

CALIFORNIA SETS A NEW STANDARD

The California Supreme Court has certainly seen the light and have overturned the ban on Gay Marriage in that great state!!! Meanwhile we've been deluged with emails from NH Freedom to Marry and the Human Rights Council all asking us to celebrate and cheer on only the second state out of 50 to recognize that same-sex couples deserve human rights just as much as opposite-sex couples.

This is truly a cause to celebrate - not for Kay and me so much - but for the generations of young Gays and Lesbians coming along behind us who will need the protection of their civil rights as well. Perhaps the cautious overtures that are made by today's political candidates to push for Federal benefits such as Social Security (to name 1 of the over 1,000 Federal Benefits which are out of reach for us) will come to fruition one day.

Hooray for California and the doors now open for the same-sex partnerships in that state.

MOTHERS' DAY

Kay and I had the most magnificent experience yesterday. We attended the spring concert of the Plymouth, New Hampshire Pemigewasset Choral Society in which my daughter, Amey, sings alto. The program was "Elijah plus..." and featured selections from Mendelsson's Opera. I was excited to hear Amey sing two oratorios as part of an octet. The second half of the concert was devoted to lighter fare and included springtime numbers; but "Turn the World Around" by Harry Belafonte was very special as the chorus clapped and danced along with drum and piano.

I was totally enthralled and spellbound to be part of the audience and bursting with pride. My daughter graduated from Plymouth State University 18 years ago and the director of the concert yesterday, was her choral professor when she was a student. How amazing to have her come full circle.

The fact that it was also Mothers' Day was significant because both my children never fail to honor Kay with a special card. Ever since Kay and I became partners in life, they have looked upon her as a quasi-mother and it does my heart good to see their devotion to her as well as their appreciation for all she does for me.

UPDATING NEW STUFF

We're concerned because we haven't received your comments for a while and wonder if it's because of the intimidating list of options to the right of our Blog. To make this all easier you can click on "Subscribe Free to a Reader or Email Free. This will also make it easier for you to order a copy of our book "Sisters by Heart" directly from us if you prefer to take that route rather than going through Amazon.Com.

Send us your comments - we won't bite!! Same-sex couples are about much more than what goes on in the bedroom!!

SISTERS BY HEART

Our sincere thanks to all you good folks "out there" who have been ordering our books from Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble....greatly appreciated. We love knowing the message is reaching people that same-sex couples have ordinary lives filled with love and laughter.

Kay and I are looking forward to spending two days in Ogunquit, Maine next week. We stay at the Marginal Way House which is only a few steps from that famed shoreline walkway that goes from Ogunquit center to Perkins' Cove. The walk skirts the rocky coast that Maine boasts about and offers benches where you can sit and soak up the view. Perkins' Cove offers much in the way of scenery that includes more rocks and surf on one side and lobster boats anchored in an inlet on the other. Barnacle Billy's lobster restaurant is also in the Cove with delicious seafood and ice cream which can be eaten on a glorious outside deck overlooking local sights and sounds.

Another good thing about the Marginal Way House is we can take our blessed little Yorkie, Rosey. He loves to go in the car and being with us is top on his list of good things. As we meander through the town shops and sidewalks, passersby stop to exclaim over the little dog. We always pick him up so he feels less threatened and can greet his admirers properly by extending one little front paw to touch an outstretched hand.

All of the above just one more plus in a domestic partnership.

WHAT'S IN YOUR KEYS?

Like many Lesbians, Kay and I love sports. Women's tennis is preferred over women's golf, however. Perhaps it's because golf is such a genteel game and both men and women play with the same sort of courtliness but the power of the men's drives is more dramatic to watch on TV.

Kay and I volunteer at the Women's Futures Tournament held annually here in Concord, New Hampshire. The women who compete are vying for a spot in the LPGA and the competition is pretty intense. It's fun and a chance to watch the "future" develop before your eyes.

Today is the Sunday after the Kentucky Derby - a race I adore. Yesterday's anticipation was like no other because of Eight Belles being a rare filly to race against such great odds. Naturally I was cheering her on and was amazed to see her cross the finish line in second place followed by the horror of seeing her down on the track with two front legs broken and learn she had to be immediately euthanized. Such a tragedy.

The Red Sox won last night's game; we're strong members of Red Sox Nation. Although basketball is not a favorite to watch, we're holding our breath for the Celtics to win this afternoon. If they lose, it will be a repeat of the Patriots' disastrous loss to the Giants in the SuperBowl.

To top off my Blog for the day, I need to issue a warning to all computer users who share their keyboards with other users at home or in the office. A message on the TV news this morning exclaimed that there is more E. Coli on a computer keyboard than on a toilet seat. Because Kay and I live, laugh and love together - as well as use the same keyboard and toilet seat, we feel pretty safe - but let this be a wake-up call to wipe down your keyboard with sanitizing wipes frequently.

These are the thoughts from our same-sex partnership in New Hampshire that we refer to as Sisters by Heart.

GOOD MORNING

The blog interview responses are all posted on Scott Shiffler's website EDGENEWYORK.COM. The interviews all involved Gay Bloggers - very interesting what we all had to say to the same questions. I invite you to check it out.

It's May 1, folks! Here in New Hampshire it's below 30 degrees outside our kitchen window and there's a skim of ice on the garden bird bath. Last week it was so warm we had a Blue Jay couple taking baths in it along with a fat Robin. Even the little Chickadees were getting drinks between chomping on the donut our neighbor keeps in her bird feeder.

In the garden the Day Lilies and Hosta are showing off their growth spurts and my fingers are itching to get in the dirt. Around these parts we can't plant annuals until close to Memorial Day because of possible frosts. One year we had snow on Memorial Day but that was back in the 1960's.

Happy Day to all from Two Outrageous Older Woman in a same-sex partnership.

SISTERS BY HEART

This is a Blog of thanks to all you bloggers out there who have purchased Sisters by Heart. Kay and I are extremely pleased and grateful.... we have been filling orders from both Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble. The very fact that there are readers out there who are holding our book in their hands about to enjoy the humor, pathos and devotion depicted on the pages is very heart-warming.

The illustrations in the book were done by Jim Dugan a Gay friend from Fitzwilliam, New Hampshire and former partner of our friend Paul about whom I blogged last Saturday. Jim was dying when he finished the last of the illustrations for our book. He had Acute Adult Onset Leukemia which manifests itself through internal bleeding. At first the disease can be kept under control with transfusions but after a while the blood out-go, out races the transfusions. He finally told his doctors to stop wasting the blood on him and he quietly bled to death. His last words were, "I didn't know it would take so long to die". Jim illustrated two of my books which are special examples of a very dear and talented man. Now Paul is on his way to be with Jim again.

It's a blue/gray Monday here in New Hampshire and as I am a child of the sunshine, the gloomy day affects me. But none of that dims the appreciation I have for those of you who ordered Sisters by Heart. Although it's a book about gay relationships it's also about choosing an alternative lifestyle. To discover why I chose to have a woman in my life you'll need to order, On the Wings of A Unicorn also available at Amazon.Com.

MY HOME STATE

I was born and raised in suburban Philadelphia - and I have a childhood friend, Pat, with whom I attended kindergarten, who still lives in the old neighborhood. A lifelong Republican, she was more concerned about getting a Democratic candidate that McCain could beat than maintaining her Republican registration. So she changed her registration to Democratic and voted for Clinton in the primary - that's who she feels sure McCain can beat.

If any of you "out there" followed the primary results the evening of the 22nd, you know that Hillary won in all the Philadelphia suburbs and also in the suburbs of Pittsburgh. I know Pat is a "go-getter" but who knew she had enough clout to get all those wealthy, white-collar Republicans to switch registration and vote for Clinton? Or did they figure it out on their own?

I guess there were those here in New Hampshire who might have heard from Pat because New Hampshire also went for Hillary!!!

Meanwhile, Kay and I visited our Gay friend, Paul, who is dying of pancreatic cancer. He's in a gay relationship and has drawn up all the necessary documents to protect his partner after his death. The same day we visited, Brett, a Lesbian friend who is in the early stages of ALS. She's in a wheelchair a lot of the time but can still manage on crutches and with a walker. Her partner died during the winter and never had any documentation done to protect Brett. They never had a Civil Union either and now Brett's partner's family is selling the house out from under Brett and she has to find a place to go.

I'm so fortunate to have Kay in my life - she thinks ahead and plans for our future together or if one of us is left alone. That's what being half of a same-sex couple means.

INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

Yesterday I finally completed all my answers to Scott's questions on the email interview which is to be part of his article for EDGENEWYORK.COM. There were 10 questions in all and at first when I read them over I didn't pick up difference in whether I was Gay or straight. A more careful reading revealed there were some few questions that asked about the web being an outlet for Gay bloggers. To which I answered the following -

"The web does provide a unique outlet for Gay bloggers because it doesn't have restrictions unless we decide to self-impose them ourselves. I feel it's important to stick to the high road in our blog subject matter so hetero blog visitors can see that homosexuality is more than what goes on in the bedroom".

A second question I enjoyed answering was this - Feel free to weigh in on any issue I have not asked about - to which I answered:
"The very essence of all that's new and exciting lives in cyberspace. In one way or another and at my age I'm pleased with myself that I've been able to find my way and take my place in the same world as my two 40-something children. The thought that some of your respondents are in their golden years might not have occurred to you. "80 is the new 70" I'm told and when I'm blogging I feel that way".

Being in a same-sex relationship is the key to everything!!

AN OUTRAGEOUS OLDER WOMAN

I received my list of questions from Scott Stiffler so my answers can be incorporated into the article he's writing for EdgeNewYork.com. The questions don't seem to be particularly focused on gay/lesbian issues and certainly not on same-sex relationships. I invite any of you who might happen on this Blog entry to visit his website.

Yesterday was a beauty around these parts...the weather was terrific for sitting in the sun, the Red Sox came from behind and beat Texas, the Celtics won and there's much excitement over the Boston Marathon which takes place today.

Kay and I went to the Common Man Restaurant here in Concord, NH for a roast beef special they're running this week. $12.99 for a 12 ounce slice of beef - perfect!!

Let me know what you think of Scott's website.

WHAT IS SO RARE AS A DAY IN APRIL?

We live in New Hampshire and there's still lots of snow on the ground but the thermometer reads 95 degrees outside our kitchen window!! Around here we've learned to take the weather one day at a time - it's sort of "if you don't like it, wait a minute".

This morning Kay and I drove to Wolfeboro, New Hampshire (the oldest summer resort in the U.S.) where Lake Winnipesaukee wraps itself up one entire side of the town. We love to poke in the shops in Wolfeboro but we mainly go there because of the consignment shop - Re-Threads - where we take things that either no longer fit or we haven't worn them in over a year. We had a check for $26 waiting for us which we quickly spent on new/old duds off the racks in the shop. It's like renting our clothes!!

We're so fortunate that we enjoy the same things. That's what being in a same-sex partnership is all about for us. When we were younger, doing separate things was O.K. but now that we're older the time spent together becomes more precious. The activities we've been involved in which keep us close are all in our book, "Sisters by Heart".

EDGENEWYORK.COM

I heard from Blogger, Scott Stiffler, and he is interested in doing an email interview with me for an article he's writing on Gay Bloggers. I'm looking forward to receiving his questions and seeing his article which will appear on his website on April 28. Stay tuned for more as I get into answering questions.

Yesterday I presided over a book signing for a group of writers (average age 85) who live in the retirement community where Kay and also reside. It was an exciting time for the authors who each read a small bit from their chapters and then the audience was invited to purchase books and have them signed by the individual writers.

I was taken back in time when "Sisters By Heart" was first published. This is the book I wrote about the same-sex relationship Kay and I have shared for over twenty years. We had receptions and book signings at all the major New Hampshire book stores as well as libraries, writing groups and on speaking tours. It was a very exciting time and we still travel around with our programs based on all four of our books. There is nothing quite like seeing your words in print and the excitement when someone hands you money for those words!

I know how enervated the elderly writers must have felt yesterday even though all the sale proceeds will go to a special fund for residents here at Havenwood-Heritage Heights.

SELLING "SISTERS BY HEART"

Yesterday we were contacted by our PR agent about doing an interview with a website guy whose web address is edgenewyork.com. She wanted to be sure it was OK to give out our email and Blog address. Always eager to pitch our Blog and our gay relationship book, "Sisters by Heart", we said yes. Especially when she told us the site gets 800,000 hits in a month - too incredible to turn down, right?

I checked the website in question and found mostly Gay male information, etc. not much for women and very little on same-sex couples - looked like mainly a place to do some body advertising.

We haven't received any word from Mr. EdgeNew York so perhaps it's all a hoax. Stayed tuned!!

PERFECT HOME FRIES

When Kay and I first started thinking about writing a book about our relationship we planned to base it around food, in particular home fried potatoes!! Sounds crazy but we had traveled up and down the East Coast of the U.S. several times and had eaten lots of good, mediocre and bad home fries so we fancied ourselves to be an authority on the subject. Then we changed our minds and decided to present "Sisters by Heart" differently telling the story about our lives together and relegating our favorite recipes to their own separate place in the book with running commentaries accompanying each recipe or menu.

Back when we were still researching the home fried spud, our favorites could be found at Young's Restaurant in Durham, NH. That's before we'd had them at Amore Breakfast in Ogunquit - their's are excellent and I defy anyone to find any better. What makes them so good is they're cut small, have some onion and something sort of tangy and they're grilled until they're dark brown and crispy.

Recently we began to think about the various places we go to enjoy the special foods we don't prepare here at home. Such as, multi-grain waffles - the best are at the Circle Restaurant in Epsom, NH. The best thin crust pizza is at UNO's and those restaurants are everywhere and they're consistent and dependable in presenting the same well prepared thin crust pizza at any of their places.

However, if you're looking for regular pizza - three-cheese, white pizza, or regular with your choice of topping - Alexander's in Dover, NH is the perfect place. Also, Kay won't have Egg Plant Parmesan at any other Italian Restaurant.

The best prime rib of beef is at The Common Man Restaurants in New Hampshire. There are a lot of them conveniently located. I always order the end cut because I don't like rare meat and the end cut is usually cooked the way I like it and has lots of flavor because it's an outside piece. Clay Hill Farm in Ogunquit also has a good end cut of beef.

Restaurants where two outrageous older ladies feel comfortable going out to eat is important. No one seems particularly aware that we're a same-sex couple who have been together for almost thirty years. Having been a waitress at one time in my life, I know the feeling when a party of women - with no accompanying male - is seated at a table in your station. "Small tip", was always the thinking and the faster you could get them "fed and fled" the better. We never feel that way and I hesitate to think it has anything to do with the fact that both Kay and I are pretty sure of ourselves and not the simpering type at all. We're in a gay relationship and that's the way it is.

If anyone reads this and would like to share their favorite place to eat out and what the specialty is, please leave a comment.

GAY CHRISTIANS

In the April/May issue of the United Church News there is a commentary by Rev. Rebecca Kemper Poos. The article is about a young woman who sought help from Rev. Poos. The woman was in a heterosexual marriage, she had three children and was concerned she might be a Lesbian. The teachings in the church she was attending was it was an "abomination" to be Gay. She had never been told it was possible to be Gay and Christian. She was given the names of other Gay women in Rev. Poos' congregation and was thrilled to have the opportunity to meet and talk with them.

How many times is this scene repeated in churches here in New Hampshire? I'm sure there are many - in the United Church of Christ churches alone there are 148 churches and only 18 are Open & Affirming which means they offer all the rites and privileges to Gays that are offered to heterosexuals.

Kay and I are truly blessed that this Sunday we are joining a UCC church here in Concord, NH that is Open and Affirming and practices what it preaches. The pastor who will officiate at our induction ceremony is Gay and his partner sits in the front pew every Sunday - accompanied by their daughter.

This is what living in a gay relationship is all about.

AMORE BREAKFAST

Yesterday was Monday - and how could we top the great experience of appearing twice on the Telefest held here at our local television station. Only one thing we could think of.........

We gathered ourselves together and left Concord at 6:45 a.m. and headed for Ogunquit, Maine about an hour and a half away. We haven't had many good weather days, but yesterday the sun peeked through and the drive was lovely.

Amore Breakfast is run by a woman who has been involved in the restaurant business for many years and she has perfected the art of planning super breakfast menus and to back them up, she hires the cream of breakfast chefs and wait people to serve. All the staff act as ambassadors for everything from her restaurant to the shows at the Ogunquit Summer Theater where many of the young folks appear on stage while holding down their jobs at Amore.

I had a delectable meal of scrambled eggs, home fries and the best corned beef hash I've ever tasted...homemade, not greasy but possessing some secret ingredient that makes the taste buds sit up and take notice.

Kay had a run of the mill breakfast of eggs and bacon but, run of the mill is never an accurate description for anything delivered to your table at Amore. Even the simple egg is tenderly prepared - never beaten, probably coaxed lovingly into that state of readiness to jump onto the grill. Once there it has to have been gently stroked into a scrambled state. The reason I go into this so thoroughly is the eggs are fluffy and puffed up on the plate as if to say, "Here I am - just for you!"

I recommend Amore to everyone that passes through Ogunquit but especially all same sex couples because the owner, Leanne, is in tune to those in alternative lifestyles and always has a special word or two for us she recognizes as being a kindred spirit.

ARTS TELEFEST

Today, Concord, New Hampshire's Television Station celebrates New Hampshire's artists, writers, musicians, dancers, singers, etc. It will be an all day broadcast from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Some of the segments have been taped well ahead but the two portions I've been invited to do are LIVE!! It's pretty intimidating to do a live interview and even though I know my material very well, it's still not easy.

In this morning's segment, Kay will talk about our publishing company, KALM. When she's finished I will talk about our book, "Sisters by Heart - Partners in Aging". I've spoken many, many times about this book - it's main topic being a subtle look at the same-sex relationship between two women in their 70's who come from two totally different backgrounds. The story is about Kay and me - our lives together for over twenty years and what we did with them.

It's also a look between-the-lines at how wonderful and interesting our lives together have been. I doubt there are many gay relationship books that tell the story in quite the same way "Sisters" tells it.

The book came out in 2000, eight years before New Hampshire legalized Civil Unions. So I took the approach that I would try not to turn off heterosexual readers by being flamboyant but clear enough for same-sex couples to see what I was really saying. The essence of our relationship is revealed in the Reflections at the end of each chapter. The Reflections come close to the real essence of our relationship and any "savvy" reader will be able to see that quite readily.

The last line of the last reflection says, "it's no longer a secret that we live for each other".

A lot of what I've just blogged above is what I plan to say in my portion of the Arts Telefest interview. Wish me luck!!

WHAT TO BELIEVE?

My daughter forwarded an article from the Ft. Wayne Journal Gazette from March 27 in which the columnist praises the virtues and faith of Barack Obama's former preacher, Jeremiah Wright. The writer extols the virtues and beliefs of Rev. Wright decrying his vilification in the press "no less than corporate crucifixion". Hard to believe, you say? Not so difficult when you figure various powers fiddle with everything including one's faith. There's danger ahead when columnists and the press in general look at the clerical community as aliens.

Last evening at an information meeting for prospective new members at the local church Kay and I are planning to join, the discussion and Q & A were going smoothly and everyone was enjoying each other's comments and input when I interjected my pleasure about the church being Open & Affirming. This means Gays and Lesbians are welcome and affirmed to have Civil Unions in the church sanctuary, be called as pastors, teach church school, etc. It goes without saying that same-sex couples are very welcome and is the reason we selected this particular church.

The man next to me suddenly began reneging on his thoughts about joining and hinted that morality was a big issue with him. I think I killed any thoughts he had of becoming a member of the church. The church advertises its extravagant welcome to people in domestic partnerships - so how did he allow himself to get so far into the new member process and isn't it fortunate he discovered where he was about to misplace his religious future?

At first I felt terrible for having raised the issue of Open & Affirming and did it because I am so proud of any church that reaches out to people in alternative lifestyles but the more I thought about it the more I realized if he'd joined and brought his negative attitude with him, I'd have never been at peace being a member.

My feelings can't begin to come close to what Rev. Wright must feel about his rejection by Mr. Obama, but at least I can empathize at being looked down upon by those who describe themselves as being morally straight.

TEENAGERS

I was a widow with two children when Kay and I met and moved in together 28 years ago. My son, who I knew was Gay almost before he did, was a tormented and bullied teenager. My daughter, gifted with tremendous reasoning powers as well as a photographic mind, needed a scholastic discipline that would challenge her. When Kay opened her home in Durham, NH to us in 1980, I jumped at the opportunity to not only be with the woman I had come to love but also to find a good school for my kids.

The school was perfect for my daughter and offered opportunities that didn't exist in the school we'd left behind. My son's effeminacy was accepted and his involvement in the music programs was rewarding for him.

I had difficulties being a single mother - even though I always had Kay's support. It was the biggest and loneliest job I ever had and I came very close to failing both of my children. My son, because he got into drugs and alcohol and my daughter because she tried so hard to be perfect so I wouldn't have to worry about her. I needed counseling but not as much as they both did.

Through some miracle and the result of the mysterious way God works, we all survived what could have been one tragedy heaped upon another and another and another.

I read in the paper this morning about sex among today's teenagers even before they're sixteen! Oral sex isn't considered "sex" to them but still it will escalate from there and sexually transmitted diseases will hit them hard. How can we bring kids back to childhood? What can be done to help parents with what must be an overwhelming moral issue with which to wrestle?

I feel fortunate that the problems I had were overcome and my kids turned out as well as they could in spite of the dangers having only one parent presented to them. Today, they welcome the idea of having two mothers and are proud of us in our alternative lifestyle, our domestic partnership and our gay relationship. I am blessed in every way imaginable.

THE CANDIDATE DILEMMA

Have you heard about the voter who was suffering from E.D.? "Yes", he said. "I've got Electile Dysfunction....I can't get aroused by any of the candidates". I think that's so perfect and such a good description of the way I feel.

I'm not sure about any of them and as each new day goes by and Clinton and Obama dredge up more mud to sling, I get more uncertain. My question to myself is, am I being disloyal to my gender if I don't vote for Hillary? Is it wrong to vote by Gender? On the other hand, are African-American voters favoring Obama because of his skin color? It's the same conundrum, right?

Perhaps, as our local paper said today McCain's recent "senior moments" have become velcroed to everything he now says. But, not so fast, what about Hillary's moment when she claimed she dodged bullets in Bosnia....or Obama who spoke about a Life Magazine article that never actually appeared.

It's become a question of how old, old is as opposed to how black, black is; and how female, a female is. McCain looks good to me but percentage-wise at my age I'm in the lower percentile of voters who believe his age of 71 really matters even though 70 is the new 60. I couldn't run any sort of organization let alone a country, but I'm 79.

I wish they'd run a Gay individual then there'd be no question of who would get my vote because I'd know that person was more than qualified simply because of all he or she had to overcome to even be a candidate...or would "don't ask, don't tell" be an issue.

This is one-half of your favorite same-sex couple signing off!!

WHAT'S IN VOGUE?

If any of our readers happened to witness the brouhaha on the Today Show this morning over the two people featured on the cover of the latest issue of Vogue, you have learned a bit about discrimination and the hue and cry that can raise its ugly head over something "different".

Those of us who were in the "closet" for decades, then had the nerve to step out on "the road less taken", have experienced the inevitable experience of hearing and seeing the behind-the-hand smirks and the whispers.

The cover of Vogue features a massive African-American basketball player and a gorgeous white model. He does look kind of ferocious but she is still gorgeous in spite of it. The crux of the Today Show segment was the racial issue that a black man and a white woman together brings to mind - they even went so far as to compare the cover to King Kong with the shrieking Fay Wray in his fist while he clings to the Empire State Building!!

I wonder if any same-sex couples have ever been featured on Vogue? Does any one know? Because if that is the next step in the editors' minds, those of us in gay relationships need to be prepared. I was appalled at the reaction to the current Vogue cover - there was nothing evil intended nor did it come anywhere close to disgusting me - what gives??

RED SOX

Since the Patriots' last ugly game, Kay and I have endured a personal sports moratorium! We don't like either basketball or ice hockey (unless it's the UNH Women's Ice Hockey). So we've had to content ourselves with the Men's PGA and Tiger Woods.

But now, the Red Sox are back on the scene - well not exactly since they're playing their opener in Tokyo but at least it's a team we love and will follow closely from now until the World Series. As a same-sex couple do we stick out when we hang our Red Sox banner outside our apartment where we live? Probably, but that doesn't bother us one bit because where we live in Concord, New Hampshire we're accepted everywhere we go and it's a good feeling.

Our book, "Sisters by Heart", is in the community library here and our program, based on the book which we put on for potential new residents, shows the diversity that exists here. It's a popular program with newcomers and old time residents alike.

For those over 62 who are in an alternative lifestyle, you should visit Havenwood-Heritage Heights.

HAPPY EASTER

Kay and I will be attending the 8 a.m. service at our church here in Concord. Then we'll have dinner with family and friends in the central dining room here at Heritage Heights. There will be 8 of us at the table and although we made all the arrangements and reserved the table, we are the only same-sex couple - for a matter of fact, we'll be the only Gay or Lesbian people at our table, whether in a gay relationship or single.

This is a distinct sign of our times - we're accepted for what we are - two outrageous older women living in a diverse community where everyone accepts each other.

On the Easter Sunday we feel the blessings of the Resurrection we're about to celebrate.

SISTERS BY HEART

We just shipped off another copy of our gay relationship book, "Sisters by Heart". The order came to us through Amazon.Com and we thank whoever it was "out there" who ordered it. We know you'll get a laugh or two and you might shed a tear or two as well.

Kay and I had fun living the background adventures in the book but we also had some tense moments that you need to read between the lines to discover. In the Reflections section at the end of each chapter you'll find a look inside what it's like to be part of a same-sex couple. Happy reading and keep the orders coming in!

I also wanted to talk more about the movie, "For the Bible Tells Me So". Because of the lack of understanding between two sets of parents and their Gay or Lesbian children, one child contemplated suicide and had even gone so far as to purchase a gun for that purpose. The other child successfully hung herself using her dogs collar and leash. The movie's producer chose to show the picture of this dead young woman which made the tears of the theater audience very apparent. But take heart - the movie has a basically happy ending and emphasizes the great need for the work PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) does in those living in alternate lifestyles.

A MUST-SEE MOVIE

Last evening Kay and I went to the movie, "For the Bible Tells Me So". It's a story about four families each with a Gay or Lesbian child - how the family handles the situation but, more importantly, how they applied what they believe the Bible tells them about homosexuality.

One family's son marries but realizes he's not being honest with his wife, children and himself and he leaves the marriage and eventually rises to become the Episcopal Bishop of the Diocese of New Hampshire.

Another family's son is now a student at Harvard Divinity School. Richard Gebhart's daughter is featured as is the mother of a Lesbian who ends up committing suicide because her mother tells her she no longer accepts her as her daughter.

All through the show there are Bible-thumping Gerry Falwall-types and on the opposing side there are pastors and Bible scholars who explain what the Bible is really trying to say.

If this movie comes to a theater anywhere near where you live and you are in an alternative lifestyle, in a domestic partnership or gay relationship DO NOT MISS IT.

PALM SUNDAY

Today has always seemed to me like a day of great triumph even though, as the hymn says, Jesus "rides forth to die". I love that hymn and look forward to singing it every year on Palm Sunday. That and bringing home palms to be braided and kept over the living room mirror until they are turned into ashes for the beginning of Lent next year.

My grandmother was a student of the Bible and taught Bible Studies in my grandfather's church in Clinton, Massachusetts. When I was a child, she taught me the Old Testament stories and we would act out ones such as Miriam finding moses floating down the river and rescuing him from the bulrushes. I loved the stories of Jesus when he was a little boy and would amaze people with his profound statements and knowledge.

I'm sure there are many folks in gay relationships who will have nothing to do with the Bible or any religion that centers on God and Jesus Christ. There are just as many who are as close to their traditional beliefs as ever. Some even more so.

This afternoon we're going to see "The Bible Tells Me So" with discussions afterwards by Bishop Gene Robinson and other leaders who have a same-sex partnership following. I'll report more on this but in the meantime, I wish all our Blog visitors as blessed Palm Sunday.

GOOD MORNING

One of the best things about being in a same-sex partnership is that neither of us feels threatened! I spent 15 years with an abusive husband and felt threatened almost every day.

It is such a feeling of delightful and blessed peace to be in the relationship I have with Kay - sure we argue but that's a healthy component of any relationship. We'd be pretty boring people if we didn't have some different opinions on things. We talk through major decisions and weigh the pros and cons and we listen to each other's point of view.

In our gay relationship book, "Sisters by Heart", we talk about the importance of laughter. We laugh a lot - at each other, at ourselves and the best is laughing together!!

UNDERSTANDING

Last evening Kay and I entertained one of the very most heterosexual couples who are also residents in the retirement community where we live here in Concord, New Hampshire.

They are quite a bit younger than we are - especially me - as Renata is just about to have her 65th birthday and I'm going to be 80. Age, we've discovered after living here for 5 years, has nothing to do with anything. It's your spirit that determines how young or old you happen to be. But that's not my topic today.

My topic is understanding one another and accepting each other's viewpoint and lifestyle. Renata and Bob personify this outlook. We had a wonderful time together exchanging stories about our children, hobbies and involvements in community life. The best thing about this exchange is everything is really the same whether you're raising children in a heterosexual marriage or in a same-sex partnership. Children need the love and nurturing only their parents can provide. Getting joy and relaxation from the pursuit of a hobby (Renata and I both knit) spans age as well as lifestyle choices. Community involvement is a personal choice but I've discovered if you put yourself "out there" people are drawn to you much more than if you are reclusive. Speculation runs rampant if same-sex couples tuck themselves away from the potential of making new friends and having the joy of belonging.

Renata and Bob are a couple who have displayed their affection for us from the get-go. It's a mutual thing because each couple has something to offer the other. What a waste it would be if we hadn't met in the first place, pursued becoming friends and discovering all the similarities we have.

Who says Gay relationships are all about what goes on in the bedroom?

I BELIEVE.......

.......either you control your attitude or it controls you!! And that's so true when one marches to a different drummer.

It's not as noticeable today but I can remember dreadful arguments that almost came to blows back in the 1940's about societal issues involving Queers. Of course it never stopped there - it spread to include every other ethnic group imaginable.

We're each responsible for our own beliefs. The most important part about our beliefs is that they're ours and should not be foisted off on others. Our attitude is our attitude and thank God we have the freedom to be free enough to think for ourselves.

One week in a same-sex partnership trying to keep a foot in the Gay and the Straight worlds is proof of that. Alternative lifestyles are just that - a choice to take the alternate path.

GOOD MORNING

Where I live, here in Concord, New Hampshire, same-sex couples are accepted and looked on as equals in everyday life and in most social circles. Of course, we're more comfortable in some circles than in others. But an unusual example of this is a good woman friend who was widowed before she moved into our community. She's a great gal, with lots of interests about which she's very enthusiastic. But she'd be the first to agree with me that she isn't comfortable going places without a male escort. And that includes mostly Gay/Lesbian gatherings.

Naturally, single women living alone far outnumber single males. So you would think the competition for an escort would run quite high. Not so! Singles mix beautifully and the amazing thing is those in alternative lifestyles mix right in as well.

It's quite remarkable and far removed from the town from where Kay and I moved. A mill town primarily at its beginning, it has a small-minded mentality and our eyes were truly opened when we moved to Concord and saw first-hand what a difference there was in acceptance.

Moral - if you're looking for a retirement town and are in an alternative lifestyle, consider joining us here in Concord, New Hampshire. We'd love to have you.

STRETCHING MY DOLLARS

I retired from the University of New Hampshire the day after I celebrated my 60th birthday. My plan was to write full time - a dream I'd had for decades. Not being a detail person, I assumed my income would stretch to meet my needs except I forgot the importance of health insurance and therein was a huge problem. It quickly became apparent I needed to work at least part-time until Medicare kicked in five years hence. So I hired back on at the university as a "temp". I knew the automated financial system backwards and forwards because I'd been using it before retirement. It turned out I was a valuable asset and was paid top dollar to step into a variety of campus departments to help out during maternity leaves and other short term absences.

Then came the day I was assigned to ROTC Administration. This is an adjunct department for student reserve officer training. Lots of students - male and female - use ROTC as a way to finance their college education and pay the government back by serving in the Reserves - at UNH this could be the Army or Air Force Reserves.

The colonel in charge of the Army ROTC, to whom I reported, was a stickler: there was the Army way and then there was the Army way. Each time he approached my desk I felt the urge to jump from my chair and snap off a salute. Where was the informality of academe I had come to cherish?

Fortunately the woman I was subbing for had her baby sooner than expected and I was off the hook. At a farewell breakfast given for me, I was presented with a hooded sweatshirt with A-R-M-Y emblazoned across the front. I have cherished that jacket for years - it's reminder of my greatest battle.

Is that entirely true, I wonder? I've certainly had some major skirmishes. Some were to do with sticking up for my rights as part of a same-sex couple and the emotional turmoil that used to rage inside of me when people would say, "I don't want any of those dirty people coming into our church."
What were they thinking? These were battle wounds that will be with me always.

The most important result of those times is that I have learned to hold my head high, live my life openly and honestly, thank God for all his many blessings and respect and love the domestic partnership I have with Kay.

ASTOUNDING TECHNOLOGY

As I've said before, when I write my Blog entries, I have no idea where my words fall....it's like the old question if a tree falls in the forest and there's no one there, does it still make a sound? Well, imagine our surprise when we received a Google Alert that 40 of our Blog entries had indeed reached the eyes of today's technology.

Please copy and paste http://technorati.com/blogs/www.kalmpublishing.com and see what I mean. And that's just the tip of the old ice berg I'm told. Who knew all this was "out there"?

The world of books about gay relationships, gay relationships is getting friendlier each day. And even my entries about our editing services made the big time.

LETTING OUT MY SOUL

Someone once said, "writing lets out the soul". I believe it and the more I make Blog entries, it becomes more clear just why I enjoy it so much - it's because my words are indeed the window to my inner being.

I've saved all my writings since I was in second grade - well, not all of them, just the ones of which I was most proud. My first attempt at poetry was this written when I was 7. Titled, "Me".

I'm quite fat,
But I'm glad I'm not flat,
For if I were that,
There'd be nothing at all,
But a little round ball
That's all!

I'm so much of a ball,
That I can't bend at all.
I can't tie my shoes
Or say my two - twos
'Cause I'm such a round ball,
That's all!

Is that letting out my soul, or what? It seems obvious to me now that I was sending out an SOS. Help me to not be fat, I was saying. Looking back at pictures of me when I was 7, I don't look fat but I was chunky around the middle. I was also always the tallest girl in my class which also may have prompted the poem. Who knows and it's all behind me now anyway.

Now, in my 80th year, those things that are outward and visible are so minor compared to what's inside. I am at peace. I've finally gotten to know who I am. I have an alternative lifestyle, I have a same-sex partner and we are partners in life. Amen.

GAY RELATIONSHIP BOOKS

Today is Sunday. It's a favorite day and it's the Lord's Day. It's also the morning I fix the special scrambled eggs that Kay loves. Rosey loves them just as much!! The recipe for the eggs is in "Sisters by Heart" under "Champagne Breakfast for Two". In summers in the past, we used to have breakfast out on the deck at the cabin overlooking the woods, and a small piece of Laurel Lake that could be seen through the enormous trees that just about obliterated the view I'd paid dearly to have carved out. All got overgrown very quickly.

Kay and I really enjoy a glass of champagne - with a little bit of Angostura Bitters shaken into the bottom of the glass before pouring the bubbly. The bitters add a touch of exotic depth to the champagne and, although it contains 11% alcohol, it doesn't seem to increase the potency of the drink. However, a post-breakfast nap was never out of the question!!

In the 25 years I spent in heterosexual marriages, I never experienced the total joy, spirituality and sense of peace I've had for the past 28 years with Kay. As partners in life, we've shared as many ups and downs as any other couple with two children - especially the two teenagers I introduced into Kay's life back in 1980. There were times I thought my sanity was in question but the steady rock that Kay provided for me, stood fast and somehow we survived with our spirits in tact.

There are so many labels for our relationship - domestic partnership and same-sex couple to name two. At the end of our Civil Union we were pronounced Partners in Life. And that's what we are.

SISTERS BY HEART

It's Saturday, March 1, and the snow is coming down in torrents. We've already had 6 inches with 3 more predicted. Kay has been out shoveling Rosey's little igloo tunnel so he can get out to do his "business". I can hear the sidewalk Bobcat plows in the distance.

Day before yesterday our Comcast email decided to let us down and it had to have been the most frustrating experience. Fortunately we had AOL as a back-up but it's not the same and I look forward to having Comcast back.

Since our Civil Union, Kay and I have enjoyed a feeling of new respect - not only for each other that we took this momentous step at our ages - but because we sense our friends and neighbors looking at us with new eyes. Is this a subliminal message that's being sent our way telling us we've "arrived"; or are we reading things into folks' reaction to us that isn't really there?

We've always been very subtle about our love for each other - not blatant at all. The days of flamboyance for those in gay relationships is hopefully a thing of the past. It is important for those in a domestic partnership to respect as well as love each other and to have the respect and genuine caring of their peers, friends and community.

Our book, "Sisters by Heart", is a prime example of an alternative lifestyle. Click on the excerpt of Chapter One on our website to see what I mean.

PARTNERS BY HEART

Four days have passed since Kay and I exchanged vows. Kay vowed that "wherever I go, she will go; my family will be her family and my God will be her God too." I promised that "our lives would be intertwined forever - in sickness and health - even death could not separate us because my ashes will be buried with her ashes". (And that's a true statement because we've already purchased an urn large enough to hold two sets of ashes....)

As soon as our Chaplain pronounced us "Partners in Life" the sun came in the window and touched our faces - was this the hand of God?

We've been to the Town Clerk here in Concord, NH and have obtained two copies of our Civil Union Certificate....the paper tells us we're not only legal as a couple but it also gave us a new look at life filled with all the pride and glory this recognition could possibly offer same-sex couples.

I hope and pray our story will inspire other New Hampshire same-gender couples (male or female) to take the same steps we did.

Our book, "Sisters by Heart - Partners in Aging", tells the story of how we met, how we fell in love and what we did to stay young in mind, body and spirit. It's an hilarious account of two women offering a recipe for living that is one of the most meaningful and heartfelt books about gay relationships.