TEENAGERS

I was a widow with two children when Kay and I met and moved in together 28 years ago. My son, who I knew was Gay almost before he did, was a tormented and bullied teenager. My daughter, gifted with tremendous reasoning powers as well as a photographic mind, needed a scholastic discipline that would challenge her. When Kay opened her home in Durham, NH to us in 1980, I jumped at the opportunity to not only be with the woman I had come to love but also to find a good school for my kids.

The school was perfect for my daughter and offered opportunities that didn't exist in the school we'd left behind. My son's effeminacy was accepted and his involvement in the music programs was rewarding for him.

I had difficulties being a single mother - even though I always had Kay's support. It was the biggest and loneliest job I ever had and I came very close to failing both of my children. My son, because he got into drugs and alcohol and my daughter because she tried so hard to be perfect so I wouldn't have to worry about her. I needed counseling but not as much as they both did.

Through some miracle and the result of the mysterious way God works, we all survived what could have been one tragedy heaped upon another and another and another.

I read in the paper this morning about sex among today's teenagers even before they're sixteen! Oral sex isn't considered "sex" to them but still it will escalate from there and sexually transmitted diseases will hit them hard. How can we bring kids back to childhood? What can be done to help parents with what must be an overwhelming moral issue with which to wrestle?

I feel fortunate that the problems I had were overcome and my kids turned out as well as they could in spite of the dangers having only one parent presented to them. Today, they welcome the idea of having two mothers and are proud of us in our alternative lifestyle, our domestic partnership and our gay relationship. I am blessed in every way imaginable.