SISTERS BY HEART

This is a Blog of thanks to all you bloggers out there who have purchased Sisters by Heart. Kay and I are extremely pleased and grateful.... we have been filling orders from both Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble. The very fact that there are readers out there who are holding our book in their hands about to enjoy the humor, pathos and devotion depicted on the pages is very heart-warming.

The illustrations in the book were done by Jim Dugan a Gay friend from Fitzwilliam, New Hampshire and former partner of our friend Paul about whom I blogged last Saturday. Jim was dying when he finished the last of the illustrations for our book. He had Acute Adult Onset Leukemia which manifests itself through internal bleeding. At first the disease can be kept under control with transfusions but after a while the blood out-go, out races the transfusions. He finally told his doctors to stop wasting the blood on him and he quietly bled to death. His last words were, "I didn't know it would take so long to die". Jim illustrated two of my books which are special examples of a very dear and talented man. Now Paul is on his way to be with Jim again.

It's a blue/gray Monday here in New Hampshire and as I am a child of the sunshine, the gloomy day affects me. But none of that dims the appreciation I have for those of you who ordered Sisters by Heart. Although it's a book about gay relationships it's also about choosing an alternative lifestyle. To discover why I chose to have a woman in my life you'll need to order, On the Wings of A Unicorn also available at Amazon.Com.

MY HOME STATE

I was born and raised in suburban Philadelphia - and I have a childhood friend, Pat, with whom I attended kindergarten, who still lives in the old neighborhood. A lifelong Republican, she was more concerned about getting a Democratic candidate that McCain could beat than maintaining her Republican registration. So she changed her registration to Democratic and voted for Clinton in the primary - that's who she feels sure McCain can beat.

If any of you "out there" followed the primary results the evening of the 22nd, you know that Hillary won in all the Philadelphia suburbs and also in the suburbs of Pittsburgh. I know Pat is a "go-getter" but who knew she had enough clout to get all those wealthy, white-collar Republicans to switch registration and vote for Clinton? Or did they figure it out on their own?

I guess there were those here in New Hampshire who might have heard from Pat because New Hampshire also went for Hillary!!!

Meanwhile, Kay and I visited our Gay friend, Paul, who is dying of pancreatic cancer. He's in a gay relationship and has drawn up all the necessary documents to protect his partner after his death. The same day we visited, Brett, a Lesbian friend who is in the early stages of ALS. She's in a wheelchair a lot of the time but can still manage on crutches and with a walker. Her partner died during the winter and never had any documentation done to protect Brett. They never had a Civil Union either and now Brett's partner's family is selling the house out from under Brett and she has to find a place to go.

I'm so fortunate to have Kay in my life - she thinks ahead and plans for our future together or if one of us is left alone. That's what being half of a same-sex couple means.

INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

Yesterday I finally completed all my answers to Scott's questions on the email interview which is to be part of his article for EDGENEWYORK.COM. There were 10 questions in all and at first when I read them over I didn't pick up difference in whether I was Gay or straight. A more careful reading revealed there were some few questions that asked about the web being an outlet for Gay bloggers. To which I answered the following -

"The web does provide a unique outlet for Gay bloggers because it doesn't have restrictions unless we decide to self-impose them ourselves. I feel it's important to stick to the high road in our blog subject matter so hetero blog visitors can see that homosexuality is more than what goes on in the bedroom".

A second question I enjoyed answering was this - Feel free to weigh in on any issue I have not asked about - to which I answered:
"The very essence of all that's new and exciting lives in cyberspace. In one way or another and at my age I'm pleased with myself that I've been able to find my way and take my place in the same world as my two 40-something children. The thought that some of your respondents are in their golden years might not have occurred to you. "80 is the new 70" I'm told and when I'm blogging I feel that way".

Being in a same-sex relationship is the key to everything!!

AN OUTRAGEOUS OLDER WOMAN

I received my list of questions from Scott Stiffler so my answers can be incorporated into the article he's writing for EdgeNewYork.com. The questions don't seem to be particularly focused on gay/lesbian issues and certainly not on same-sex relationships. I invite any of you who might happen on this Blog entry to visit his website.

Yesterday was a beauty around these parts...the weather was terrific for sitting in the sun, the Red Sox came from behind and beat Texas, the Celtics won and there's much excitement over the Boston Marathon which takes place today.

Kay and I went to the Common Man Restaurant here in Concord, NH for a roast beef special they're running this week. $12.99 for a 12 ounce slice of beef - perfect!!

Let me know what you think of Scott's website.

WHAT IS SO RARE AS A DAY IN APRIL?

We live in New Hampshire and there's still lots of snow on the ground but the thermometer reads 95 degrees outside our kitchen window!! Around here we've learned to take the weather one day at a time - it's sort of "if you don't like it, wait a minute".

This morning Kay and I drove to Wolfeboro, New Hampshire (the oldest summer resort in the U.S.) where Lake Winnipesaukee wraps itself up one entire side of the town. We love to poke in the shops in Wolfeboro but we mainly go there because of the consignment shop - Re-Threads - where we take things that either no longer fit or we haven't worn them in over a year. We had a check for $26 waiting for us which we quickly spent on new/old duds off the racks in the shop. It's like renting our clothes!!

We're so fortunate that we enjoy the same things. That's what being in a same-sex partnership is all about for us. When we were younger, doing separate things was O.K. but now that we're older the time spent together becomes more precious. The activities we've been involved in which keep us close are all in our book, "Sisters by Heart".

EDGENEWYORK.COM

I heard from Blogger, Scott Stiffler, and he is interested in doing an email interview with me for an article he's writing on Gay Bloggers. I'm looking forward to receiving his questions and seeing his article which will appear on his website on April 28. Stay tuned for more as I get into answering questions.

Yesterday I presided over a book signing for a group of writers (average age 85) who live in the retirement community where Kay and also reside. It was an exciting time for the authors who each read a small bit from their chapters and then the audience was invited to purchase books and have them signed by the individual writers.

I was taken back in time when "Sisters By Heart" was first published. This is the book I wrote about the same-sex relationship Kay and I have shared for over twenty years. We had receptions and book signings at all the major New Hampshire book stores as well as libraries, writing groups and on speaking tours. It was a very exciting time and we still travel around with our programs based on all four of our books. There is nothing quite like seeing your words in print and the excitement when someone hands you money for those words!

I know how enervated the elderly writers must have felt yesterday even though all the sale proceeds will go to a special fund for residents here at Havenwood-Heritage Heights.

SELLING "SISTERS BY HEART"

Yesterday we were contacted by our PR agent about doing an interview with a website guy whose web address is edgenewyork.com. She wanted to be sure it was OK to give out our email and Blog address. Always eager to pitch our Blog and our gay relationship book, "Sisters by Heart", we said yes. Especially when she told us the site gets 800,000 hits in a month - too incredible to turn down, right?

I checked the website in question and found mostly Gay male information, etc. not much for women and very little on same-sex couples - looked like mainly a place to do some body advertising.

We haven't received any word from Mr. EdgeNew York so perhaps it's all a hoax. Stayed tuned!!

PERFECT HOME FRIES

When Kay and I first started thinking about writing a book about our relationship we planned to base it around food, in particular home fried potatoes!! Sounds crazy but we had traveled up and down the East Coast of the U.S. several times and had eaten lots of good, mediocre and bad home fries so we fancied ourselves to be an authority on the subject. Then we changed our minds and decided to present "Sisters by Heart" differently telling the story about our lives together and relegating our favorite recipes to their own separate place in the book with running commentaries accompanying each recipe or menu.

Back when we were still researching the home fried spud, our favorites could be found at Young's Restaurant in Durham, NH. That's before we'd had them at Amore Breakfast in Ogunquit - their's are excellent and I defy anyone to find any better. What makes them so good is they're cut small, have some onion and something sort of tangy and they're grilled until they're dark brown and crispy.

Recently we began to think about the various places we go to enjoy the special foods we don't prepare here at home. Such as, multi-grain waffles - the best are at the Circle Restaurant in Epsom, NH. The best thin crust pizza is at UNO's and those restaurants are everywhere and they're consistent and dependable in presenting the same well prepared thin crust pizza at any of their places.

However, if you're looking for regular pizza - three-cheese, white pizza, or regular with your choice of topping - Alexander's in Dover, NH is the perfect place. Also, Kay won't have Egg Plant Parmesan at any other Italian Restaurant.

The best prime rib of beef is at The Common Man Restaurants in New Hampshire. There are a lot of them conveniently located. I always order the end cut because I don't like rare meat and the end cut is usually cooked the way I like it and has lots of flavor because it's an outside piece. Clay Hill Farm in Ogunquit also has a good end cut of beef.

Restaurants where two outrageous older ladies feel comfortable going out to eat is important. No one seems particularly aware that we're a same-sex couple who have been together for almost thirty years. Having been a waitress at one time in my life, I know the feeling when a party of women - with no accompanying male - is seated at a table in your station. "Small tip", was always the thinking and the faster you could get them "fed and fled" the better. We never feel that way and I hesitate to think it has anything to do with the fact that both Kay and I are pretty sure of ourselves and not the simpering type at all. We're in a gay relationship and that's the way it is.

If anyone reads this and would like to share their favorite place to eat out and what the specialty is, please leave a comment.

GAY CHRISTIANS

In the April/May issue of the United Church News there is a commentary by Rev. Rebecca Kemper Poos. The article is about a young woman who sought help from Rev. Poos. The woman was in a heterosexual marriage, she had three children and was concerned she might be a Lesbian. The teachings in the church she was attending was it was an "abomination" to be Gay. She had never been told it was possible to be Gay and Christian. She was given the names of other Gay women in Rev. Poos' congregation and was thrilled to have the opportunity to meet and talk with them.

How many times is this scene repeated in churches here in New Hampshire? I'm sure there are many - in the United Church of Christ churches alone there are 148 churches and only 18 are Open & Affirming which means they offer all the rites and privileges to Gays that are offered to heterosexuals.

Kay and I are truly blessed that this Sunday we are joining a UCC church here in Concord, NH that is Open and Affirming and practices what it preaches. The pastor who will officiate at our induction ceremony is Gay and his partner sits in the front pew every Sunday - accompanied by their daughter.

This is what living in a gay relationship is all about.

AMORE BREAKFAST

Yesterday was Monday - and how could we top the great experience of appearing twice on the Telefest held here at our local television station. Only one thing we could think of.........

We gathered ourselves together and left Concord at 6:45 a.m. and headed for Ogunquit, Maine about an hour and a half away. We haven't had many good weather days, but yesterday the sun peeked through and the drive was lovely.

Amore Breakfast is run by a woman who has been involved in the restaurant business for many years and she has perfected the art of planning super breakfast menus and to back them up, she hires the cream of breakfast chefs and wait people to serve. All the staff act as ambassadors for everything from her restaurant to the shows at the Ogunquit Summer Theater where many of the young folks appear on stage while holding down their jobs at Amore.

I had a delectable meal of scrambled eggs, home fries and the best corned beef hash I've ever tasted...homemade, not greasy but possessing some secret ingredient that makes the taste buds sit up and take notice.

Kay had a run of the mill breakfast of eggs and bacon but, run of the mill is never an accurate description for anything delivered to your table at Amore. Even the simple egg is tenderly prepared - never beaten, probably coaxed lovingly into that state of readiness to jump onto the grill. Once there it has to have been gently stroked into a scrambled state. The reason I go into this so thoroughly is the eggs are fluffy and puffed up on the plate as if to say, "Here I am - just for you!"

I recommend Amore to everyone that passes through Ogunquit but especially all same sex couples because the owner, Leanne, is in tune to those in alternative lifestyles and always has a special word or two for us she recognizes as being a kindred spirit.

ARTS TELEFEST

Today, Concord, New Hampshire's Television Station celebrates New Hampshire's artists, writers, musicians, dancers, singers, etc. It will be an all day broadcast from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Some of the segments have been taped well ahead but the two portions I've been invited to do are LIVE!! It's pretty intimidating to do a live interview and even though I know my material very well, it's still not easy.

In this morning's segment, Kay will talk about our publishing company, KALM. When she's finished I will talk about our book, "Sisters by Heart - Partners in Aging". I've spoken many, many times about this book - it's main topic being a subtle look at the same-sex relationship between two women in their 70's who come from two totally different backgrounds. The story is about Kay and me - our lives together for over twenty years and what we did with them.

It's also a look between-the-lines at how wonderful and interesting our lives together have been. I doubt there are many gay relationship books that tell the story in quite the same way "Sisters" tells it.

The book came out in 2000, eight years before New Hampshire legalized Civil Unions. So I took the approach that I would try not to turn off heterosexual readers by being flamboyant but clear enough for same-sex couples to see what I was really saying. The essence of our relationship is revealed in the Reflections at the end of each chapter. The Reflections come close to the real essence of our relationship and any "savvy" reader will be able to see that quite readily.

The last line of the last reflection says, "it's no longer a secret that we live for each other".

A lot of what I've just blogged above is what I plan to say in my portion of the Arts Telefest interview. Wish me luck!!

WHAT TO BELIEVE?

My daughter forwarded an article from the Ft. Wayne Journal Gazette from March 27 in which the columnist praises the virtues and faith of Barack Obama's former preacher, Jeremiah Wright. The writer extols the virtues and beliefs of Rev. Wright decrying his vilification in the press "no less than corporate crucifixion". Hard to believe, you say? Not so difficult when you figure various powers fiddle with everything including one's faith. There's danger ahead when columnists and the press in general look at the clerical community as aliens.

Last evening at an information meeting for prospective new members at the local church Kay and I are planning to join, the discussion and Q & A were going smoothly and everyone was enjoying each other's comments and input when I interjected my pleasure about the church being Open & Affirming. This means Gays and Lesbians are welcome and affirmed to have Civil Unions in the church sanctuary, be called as pastors, teach church school, etc. It goes without saying that same-sex couples are very welcome and is the reason we selected this particular church.

The man next to me suddenly began reneging on his thoughts about joining and hinted that morality was a big issue with him. I think I killed any thoughts he had of becoming a member of the church. The church advertises its extravagant welcome to people in domestic partnerships - so how did he allow himself to get so far into the new member process and isn't it fortunate he discovered where he was about to misplace his religious future?

At first I felt terrible for having raised the issue of Open & Affirming and did it because I am so proud of any church that reaches out to people in alternative lifestyles but the more I thought about it the more I realized if he'd joined and brought his negative attitude with him, I'd have never been at peace being a member.

My feelings can't begin to come close to what Rev. Wright must feel about his rejection by Mr. Obama, but at least I can empathize at being looked down upon by those who describe themselves as being morally straight.